Blogging

To my friends who read this:

I'm sorry I don't read y'alls blog more often ( I know y'alls ain't a word, just go with me I'm being sincere). My excuses are the following:

1.) I have a terrible memory. I really do forget about this website.

2.) My computer sucks. hard. I haven't been able to get the Internet for quite some time.

3.) I get bogged down with school and I don't have time.

4.) For reals, I forget.

I know those aren't good excuses. I want to know what's going on in the lives of my friends.

I think the main reason I don't read the blogs other than the previous ones I proviede is because....well.... I have a hard time opening up. I mean, I tell people what's going on in my life

but I don't articulate my feeling very well. Things make sense in my head but sometimes when I try vocalize my thoughts I don't say them correctly. They get lost in translation or interpreted wrong. I don't know. Intimacy of all levels is difficult for me. I rememer when I was in Argentina (which I still haven't blogged about) my friend drew a picture of my eye and in order to do that he had to look directly into my eye for like two hours. It freaked me out more than I let on because looking into someone's eyes is so....penetrating and awkward. It's so intimate. It's like people are looking into my head and picking apart all my thoughts and feelings. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm kinda afraid of people really seeing me, partly because I don'teven know who I am yet. I'm working on it in more ways than one. So again, I'm sorry for not blogging and stuff. I really do love you guys.

J.